In The Beginning

This is how I came about taking care of Gran. When I was eleven, my mother, her only child, passed away, at sixty-two her and my Grandfather took in my three brothers and myself. She was the kindest, sweetest woman that ever walked this earth. Over the years, we lost two of those three brothers and in 2011 my Grandfather passed. My brother and I convinced Gran to finally sell her house in 2015 and move to a fifty five and over complex. At this time my brother and I would take turns taking her to the grocery store and doing things for her. It was not until last spring that we really noticed things changing. That brings me to the different stages of dimentia. We noticed that she was in the ANGRY stage most commonly known as the DENIAL stage. Everything we did was wrong. My very giving, kind and sweet grandmother was no longer there. This brings me to the Macular Degenerative issue. In Grans angry episode there was the issue where she was complaining that she could not see. Up until she had moved, she went to all her appointments by herself. So, I take her to my eye doctor who says that she has MD and there is nothing they can do to help. She literally refused to agree and swore that if she got her eyes scrapped, it would help. She is confused from when she had cataracts removed. My eye doctor was not good enough so I her to her regulator eye doctor who... Guess what? Had diagnosed her with MD, in her right eye, in 2012. Through all of this she was mean and insisted, even after three eye doctors said it is not fixable, she swore it was if they would just scrape her eyes. This was a never ending battle and I was constantly reminding her that she wants to be nice so people want to be around her. Then there were incidents where she had caught a pot on fire and hid the fact that it happened. This happened a few times, I joke that I had spies all over they were actually the little ladies in the complex. We had hired an agency to come in a couple times a week to be a companion and help her fix meals. At the advice of them we took the knobs off the stove and hid them. All meals were prepared and microwaveable. Trust me when I say that this did not go over well. Through all of this, my brother and I were discussing and trying to figure out what to do. My husband and I took our annual trip up North over the summer and when I got back, I found out that she caught the microwave on fire. Oh boy! I had bought her coffee bags so she could still have her coffee but they were very much like tea bags and had a small staple in them. Instead of heating up the water and dipping the bag in, she put the bag in the glass mug and put it in the microwave for TWENTY TWO minutes! I will spare you the incident where she answered the door in just her shirt! LoL I will have more on the clothes issue later. Anyway, this is when we realized just how bad this really was. I told my brother that I was making the executive decision and she was coming to live with me. Honestly, he is a guy and gran was born in 1922, we all know how women from that era think. She did not want him to do it and for no other reason than the fact that he is a man. On move out day my brother looked at me and said “Are you sure about this?” Ummm Nope, I am not but it has to be done. This is where I wish someone would have told me to take stock in Wine as this is when the real fun began!